Rory and the City

2010-07-13T21:09:00.003-04:00

My trip west continued with a layover in Oprahville. Unfortunately, if you can believe it, the old broad was busy and had forgotten all about our get-together! Oh well. There were plenty of Taco Bells where the food was cheap and the smiles were free. I hardly missed O.

My cousin and I settled on taking a boat tour chronicling the rich architectural history of the Chicago River. Frank, our tour guide, was big on trivia. A professor at a local university, he seemed to know pretty much everything there was to know about the venue. He also didn't give a chance for Kathy, his co-tour-guide (seen sitting by her lonesome on the bench), to speak much.

There was a lot to see.

The tour was even more entertaining for someone who had seen it five times. Sorry! She was a good sport though.

Later, I requested we go see "The Cloud" as my mom had told me it was called. Not knowing any better I trusted her misguided information and painted myself a fool when I asked to see it! My cousin shot me a dirty look, told me to read a tour book, and said she'd gladly take me to THE BEAN. Color me embarrassed! I hadn't felt that silly since I mistakenly told Mel Gibson I loved him in American Pycho.

Awwww. Obligatory photo opp.

2010-06-15T23:15:00.010-04:00

Dear concerned readers,

Thank you for the thousands of emails begging me to continue chronicling my often thrilling, never exaggerated, experiences of living life in the fast lane.

This chapter of my life would probably be entitled "Rory Drives Across the Country. Just like Frodo Baggins."

My adventure began by packing up the car late last night. Capitalizing on my unique aptitude for spacial relations, I'd say I did a pretty good job. It wasn't until this morning that I realized I wouldn't have much room for Buddha.

I kid, I kid. I was amazed by the number of people who asked me if I was taking my dog with me to California. Did they think I would ever leave him behind?! He is the love of my life!

I gave him three Ambien I found in a drawer and he was out cold

A little pre-trip picture to remember myself by. Great hair day.

The drugs wore off around the Village of Pittsford.

I made it to Pennsylvania!

Then to Ohio!

I actually stopped at the Ohio Welcome Center. The schnazzy little rest stop had hundreds of brochures, maps, and directories for tourists to peruse. I can't wait to discover Ohio! Sorry, no postcards. I asked.

Later, I asked Buddha to take over driving for a bit. I was feeling a little tired, but he wasn't much of a help. He actually slept like this for over an hour.

Let's get a close-up of that! Amazeballs.

It was even more amazing when he woke up out of a little dream with a startle. I wondered why the car, which was employing cruise control, began to slow down to 50 mph on the highway. His head popped the car into neutral! The Toyota Corolla who was tailin me and I shared a chuckle... or something like that.

After a while, since he was a good boy and didn't eat anyone at any of my numerous restroom stop breaks, I brought him to an empty field to play fetch. He had a swell time.

Later, I was out gettin a look at the moon, listening to Rosie Radio, and I noticed two people coming out of their room. Hugging and kissing, I envisioned the middle aged couple out on a cross country, romantic journey of their own. Awwwww.

Then they got in their separate cars and drove away.

When I got back to the car and noticed these little buggers all over the hood. Sort of pretty, no?

2010-03-29T15:21:00.005-04:00

Dear Readers,

Happy spring!

A few weekends ago Gertrude opted to celebrate her birthday by inviting/requesting/dragging Davey and I to the New York Botanical Gardens.

All kidding aside, we had a great time! Much like the park's other patrons, here's a frog who saw us and hid.

Later, Biz took a moment to gently reach for Davey's hand. It didn't go over so well.

He knocked her face first into the ground, but fortunately she hit a nice mossy patch.

Later I climbed way up into the trees and asked the groundlings to take my picture. Can you see me?

"Take a picture of me. It's my birthday."

"Take a picture of me. It's my sign."

2010-02-22T13:15:00.003-05:00

On Saturday Katy K. wanted to celebrate her return from Mardis Gras in The Big Easy. Sadly, the loose morals, endless booze, and flamboyant costumes were simply too much. She trashed her beads, packed her bags, and hopped the next flight back to The Big Apple.

"Rory, I had to get outta there. Divine retribution will strike again!"

We walked around Central Park to wash away her sins.

This is that cool fountain we always go to.

And this is that cool underpass where Kevin outran the Sticky Bandits.

We saw this guy playing a cello in the bitter cold. I thought about maybe giving him a dollar but didn't want to encourage artistic expression. Ever.

Smile for the camera!

After a quick photo I accidentally dropped Buddha's leash and Gary, John Lennon's keeper, didn't understand the seriousness of the situation. I said, "Gary, this is a big, big deal! IMAGINE what would have happened if a small child were here? There'd be blood on our hands."

2010-02-02T10:46:00.002-05:00

Here are some pictures from my recent trip to the set of Full House.

So pretty.

2010-01-22T11:59:00.005-05:00

In light of the new year, Lily has chosen to shed a few pounds and finally let go of the shame she feels when people point and stare at a case of extreme canine obesity. While her weight loss regimen mainly consists of not eating, we've found that running around and chasing sticks doesn't hurt either. Gotta burn those calories! Sadly, our little piglet has found a loophole in the plan; she sometimes eats the sticks.

I spotted this lovely gem whilst driving around suburban Rochester. Nothing says Happy Birthday like a pink limo filled with screaming 10 year olds. I wonder where they were going? Probably a movie premiere.

Later, I was chattin with my dad and I put out a feeler for maybe throwing Rory a pink limo birthday party in 2010. He said he wasn't feelin the party, nor was he feelin my face. So he dinged up my rental car pretty good.

2009-12-28T23:13:00.009-05:00

I am often asked what Buddha would say to the world given he could talk. I always say that he probably wouldn't say anything because he never barks. Still, sometimes he dreams that he barks.

2009-11-23T21:30:00.003-05:00

A few weeks ago I walked into my bedroom to find a stereo cable that had been chewed in half. My roommate claimed innocence, so I pointed the finger of blame at the next most likely culprit: Buddha Stalin.

I freaked. How was I, and how were my neighbors, going to appreciate unending choruses of "I want your love and I want your revenge..."

Laptop speakers just wouldn't do.

I decided enough was enough. First he forgets to pay the rent and now this?! A quick trip to the curb reminded that two-bit, contest-losing, pound puppy of where he came from. I said, "Buddha, you've taken a $27 Dell speaker system (upgrade, thank you) from me. Do you know how many hours in the pit it's gonna take to recoup these losses?! Actually, you know what? NEVERMIND. That stereo is irreplacable. It's a collector's item. I was planning on retiring soon..."

I eventually decided to forgive and forget. Eventually.

Still, guilt and forgiveness were not going to fix my stereo; that was something that only I could do. Because I am that awesome.

Voila!

No autographs, please!

2009-10-27T16:04:00.007-04:00

Dear Reader(s),

Happy fall!

This was on the side of the road somewhere. My mom knew a shortcut back to Rochester that only managed to add a couple hours to our trip. Good times!

Powder Mills Park.
The use of these colors clearly represent man's eternal, fiery struggle against nature.

And this represents man's love of cricks.

We had some fun with the doggies too. We could only play "How hot is that oven?" for so long, and so we decided a bit of fresh air might offer a nice chance to let them cool down and become reacquainted with the outside world.

Look at this little killer, and don't let his floppy ears and oversized paws fool you. He's about as lovable as his owner.

Later we forced ourselves to take some family photos. Gotta love these dogs!

And Buddha, Stanley, and Lily look pretty nice too. Ba-Zing!!!!

Our harassment of animals was not limited to the dog kingdom.
We later skedaddled over to the humane society and had some fun with the goats.

It's a little known fact that goats love it when you grab their horns and pull from side to side. We know this because these are the same goats we grew up with as star campers in the humane society's summer camp program. We're that special. No joke.

And I just really like this picture.

2009-09-24T14:58:00.010-04:00

Dear stalkers,

Now I know in the past I've been a bit guilty of embellishing and/or exaggerating the truth, as none of my friends have ever spent a night in jail.

Wait! I take that back; there was this one time that Biz decided she didn't want to eat her free-range organic eggs from Whole Foods... she wanted Old Mrs. Clackston to wear them.

Regardless, I'd like to share with you a true story that happened to me this past weekend when I took Buddha to the dog park.

I was taking my friend Kristen there for her very first visit. I had built up the experience to be a fun one, explaining that everyone was so nice, the dogs were so cute, and that it was just a fun, relaxing way to spend an hour.

We entered the small park and I threw Buddha's ball for him. He went and brought it back to me, dropping the toy at my feet. As an atypically large french bulldog began sniffing Buddha's ball, its owner ran towards us, scooped up her dog, and shot me a death stare.

"Is that a pit?" she vomited.
"Yes." I replied.
"Is it friendly?"
"Yea..."
"No issues?"
"Not usually..."
"Not usually means there have been issues in the past!!"

And with that, she marched off.

Kristen turned to me, "What just happened?"
"Welcome to the dog park!"

2009-09-18T21:16:00.007-04:00

A few weekends ago a some strangers and I departed for the land of early bird specials, traffic lights, and the elderly. We also went to Florida!

I found the air, the ocean, the nature to be intoxicating.

But Katy K needed some help feelin the buzz and wasted no time in sniffing out the alcohol.

"Ror, could you do me a solid and scare me up a glass of wine?"
"It's 10 am."
"Yea... I'll take mine in a Big Gulp."

We enjoyed some creative toasts, which are not blog appropriate, but let's just say they involved a lot of four letter words that would've gotten us into some real hell at service. Also, they generally made little sense except that they all began with the same letter. Alliteration is fun!

In an effort to be as lethargic as possible we developed a fool proof plan to minimize physical exertion, intellectual stimulation, and general personal betterment.

Did you know The Golden Girls is on the Hallmark channel pretty much all day every day? This took up a lot of our time. We also began watching The Jacksons: An American Dream, a 15 part miniseries from 1992 which fills late night time slots on VH1 Classic. We didn't get very far.

After a few dozen episodes of The Girls, or scenes of Joe Jackson emotionally abusing his family, we'd saunter over to the pool, where we'd swim for about ten minutes, being loud and overall disturbing to the locale's more conservative establishment.

"I hate Barack Obama!"
"NO DIVING!"

Katy and Paul'd dry off in the sun, with Biz and me in the shade, where we'd read liberal propoganda/fall asleep.

Hours later we'd awake, and feeling restless, we'd eat. Biz made us a fabulous ice cream pie. You buy a cookie crust at the grocery store, fill it with ice cream, top it with m&ms and chocolate sauce, stick it in the freezer, and eat it. What fun!

Paul, ever the healthfreak, made us a salad with mangos. It didn't last long, mostly because Katy dumped it out.

We also tried to hold ourselves to Katy K's mission of meeting some strangers to show us around.

We're thinking we need to work on our people skills.

We had to make our own fun, and one night we decided to go native and had ourselves a Golden Girls Dinner Spectacular.

It involved eating a lot of ice cream pie.

We also went to the Sea Turtle Hospital but someone named Katy didn't have a good time because it was too hot. Yea, I guess it woulda been nice had someone thought of air conditioning. It's not like these turtles are dying- it's not like their illness, waning populations, and loss of habitat is a result of human activity, pollution, and warming oceans. But yea, let's just air condition the outdoors from now on, because it was like 90 degrees that day.

UNBELIEVABLE!

She was so angry she took this little toad I had saved from the parking lot (I named him Toady and everything!) and threw him out the window. I'm crossing my fingers he was able to hop away from it all...

But deep down I think we all know what happened to Toady. He probably died. And I think this rainbow wasn't just any rainbow, it was Toady's rainbow, just like the one at the end of ET when the spacefhip flies away. I must say, it was a pretty slammin rainbow.

The End.

2009-09-01T11:48:00.007-04:00

Sarah Jane, having decided that Cleveland just wasn't her style, chose to come back to New York. Well, for a week anyway. She had some big news to share: she's married!

Oh wait.

Right, it's the other big one- she's preggers! YAAAY, SJ!

We couldn't get enough of her peanut butter fudge, oreo cookie crust pie. The homemade lasagna was also a huge hit.

And sweet Katy K took it upon herself to bake some homemade chocolate chip cookies! Don't they look awesome?

Katy K celebrated having people over the best way she knew how... with a lot of red wine.

This picture features an intimate recounting of the story of her goiter, which was born last summer. The two "grew" quite close, but had to call it quits when the lump threatened to give birth to her twin.

We all know it never would have worked, because then Katy K and her evil twin would have had to fight to the death over who got to keep Jose.

Regardz reunion. Awwww, so long ago.

Also, Sarah Jane likes to dance at her dinner parties, but she has historically refused to let me video tape them. Oh well. I does what I wants!

We finished the evening with a bang- because there's nothing wilder than watching ballet videos on youtube!!!

2009-08-16T12:19:00.009-04:00

A few weeks ago I elected to participate in a New York City photo scavenger hunt. Team Love Chakra was in it to win it! The stakes were high, the budget was low, and the company was somewhere in between.

We showed up bright and early across from the world renowned Plaza Hotel to receive our clues. (I was secretly hoping we'd run into Kevin McCallister because I've been dying to tell him a few things. Firstly, FAO Schwarz was always right across the street from his hotel, so why did he bother going to Duncan's Toy Chest anyway. It was so far. And also, I never had a Talkboy, but I used my friend's once, and that shit didn't work very well.)

Anyway, our event organizer fired her revolver into the air, signaling the official kickoff of our hunt, and official death of unsuspecting tourist Marcus Stillwell- wrong place, wrong time.

While Biz was quickly deciphering complicated clues and riddles, the rest of Team Love Chakra opted for some ice cream.

Having figured out our first assignment, we ran/walked to Alice in Wonderland in Central Park. The place was littered with children, and we thought it might be cute if we opted to get some of them in our shot.

A concerned parent shouted after us as we left, "These had better not end up on Facebook!"

Please, lady. Look at this picture and check out the Ugly Betty in the red hat. He's not exactly To Catch a Predator material... Sorry.

Next we arrived at the American Musuem of Natural History, where patrons were most likely frightened.

Followed by Columbus Circle where we made friends with Walter. And man, he loved us.

Always the overacheivers, we took additional, unrequired photos at many of New York's famous attractions.

Look for our upcoming performances.

Team Love Chakra couldn't resist honoring our namesake. Lucky Nick!

We spent the rest of the afternoon hitting all of our targets.

Grand Central.

Times Square.

The public library.

Waiting for a bus at the Port Authority.

Some building.

Street proposals.

That bull statue.

Sometimes we got tired of walking.

I think it's safe to say everyone got a little tuckered out. We don't know these two people, but we do know this- they are very much in love.

We had a swell time, and we most definitely won the scavenger hunt.

2009-08-03T11:08:00.006-04:00

A few weeks ago we were bored out of our minds and so we decided to go to my most favorite of overpriced, but undeniably fun, mexican restaurants: Arriba Arriba.

Katy brought along her new friend Esteban; he was quite the hit.

"That's three, Katy..."

Always eager to make my friends feel ill at ease, I requested that K and E take one giant, corny sip from their oversized margarita.

Katy's words to her partner in crime before they took the plunge?

"Sorry..."

Awwww, so adorable though!

As drinking is a sin, Paul and I opted out of participating in the shenanigans. Instead, we offered words of advice, wisdom, and general scolding.

Fortunately, Carlos and Stephen stayed pretty grounded as well because they had to subdue K when the DJ accepted our request to play Don't Stop Believin'. She was instantly overcome and felt her emotions could best be expressed by dancing on our table.

After the manager kicked us out we went up and played on the roof.

Esteban, apparently not afraid of falling off the edge of nine story buildings, was unmoved by the lack of adequate safety precautions. Handrail or not, he was determined to get the coolest shot of midtown. Nervous Nancy took to holding his feet on the ground... just in case.

The following day the weather was really nice so we all went to the High Line. An abandoned subway platform which had been recently converted to a lovely pedestrian park, we found the lack of mole people disheartening.

2009-07-14T15:30:00.005-04:00

Last weekend I was feeling antsy and rebellious so I whittled a gun out of a bar of soap and successfully hijacked a Toyota Corolla. It wasn't my first time and I knew what I was doing.

Ctown and I hit the road and headed for Rochester. There was lots of traffic so I told him to keep his eyes peeled for The Law; the last thing I needed was another night in jail.

He said, "Don't you worry! You can count on me."

Five minutes later I was pulled over.

We spent the next morning in Rochester playing with puppies, visiting my grandparents, looking at baby birds- my grandmother yelled at me for taking a picture- and drinking.

"Did you just take a picture of them?!"
"Yes, Karen. And now I've taken a piece of their soul."

I tried to get Buddha to go in the water by throwing him, but he didn't appreciate it as much as Lily.

Stray pit bull that attacked me. Had to put 'er down.

Mmmm, I bet she smells so good!

Not as good as Buddha!

We spent the rest of the afternoon binge drinking.

"Give me alcohol!!!"

Pretty sky.

We made it back on Sunday in time for Biz's backyard housewarming. It was a huge success and so many things were broken that I didn't have the heart to post the pictures. Sorry.

Also, as Katy K was driving us we noticed this.

Safety FAIL.

2009-07-08T10:23:00.009-04:00

A couple weekends ago we decided to go watch the big parade. Personally, I found the production to be a bit dull, but it had its livelier moments. For example, when Lady GaGa invited me up onto her float to sing along to LoveGame, I was so bored that I started reciting the digits of pi. The crowd went wild and I saved the day.

The Fourth of July proved to be an amazing holiday experience, although honestly, it got off to a somewhat rocky start.

You see, I was walking Buddha over to the dog park when we passed a nice middle aged woman and her toy poodle. When we were a few feet in front of her I heard her say, "You're cute!"
Truth be told, it's not all that uncommon, particularly in my new hood, for someone to say this about me. In fact, with one notable exception, I think pretty much everyone I've ever met has drawn similar conclusions.

So when I turned my head to tacitly acknowledge my flattery, and chalk up yet another fan for Team Rory, you can only imagine my surprise when the woman snapped, "Not you. Your dog."

Thanks.

The rest of the day shaped up to be much more entertaining, as about a dozen friends descended upon our Manhattan mansion to watch the Macy's Fireworks. Starting at about 6:30 we sauntered over to Blockheads where we enjoyed many $3 margaritas. As the daylight slowly disappeared we grabbed our check and made our way through the mobs of people on their way to the Hudson River. However, instead of following them we just went back to our apartment and watched the show from our roof deck.

This worked out well for two reasons. For starters, we didn't have to deal with crowds, but more importantly, we were free to continue drinking.

Please enjoy the psychedelic pictures and short video.

After the show we all went back to our apartment, where Emily was free to eat Gummi Bears, spill beer on three separate occasions, and fawn over Buddha.

Indeed, fawning over Buddha turned out to be the theme of the gathering, as Lilian was interested in little else. "If I could give birth to this dog, I'd actually have children. I think I want to give birth to Buddha. You know, when I go home after seeing him, I get really sad. Like, I think about him and I get sad."

Ohhhhhhhhhhh Lilian...

2009-06-24T15:20:00.003-04:00

Last night one of my coworkers announced he was hosting a small, intimate birthday gathering at a friend's rooftop garden not far from our apartment. I wasted no time inviting myself.

Kidding! I told him if he didn't invite me I'd never place an office supply order for him ever again. Yes, blackmail, but I had my invite, plus one, to a swank roof top.

Wow! Rain. (again.)

Fortunately the rain, like my childhood fantasy of shattering the glass in our television and befriending Rainbow Brite, never materialized.

Basically, my grandma was taking care of us one day and looked alarmed when I revealed my plan to "step through" the TV screen. She played it cool, but I knew I had rattled her pragmatic sensibilities. "I think the screen will just go black. I think that would break it."

Fine.

Pretty neat.

Swank-ola.

2009-06-20T11:47:00.003-04:00

I think I am turning into one of those "dog people."

2009-06-08T10:20:00.006-04:00

I recently took Buddha on his very first visit to a dog park.

I was concerned, although honestly a bit excited, that he'd eat some of the park's smaller patrons or random children in attendance.

Sadly, he made friends with everyone.

Well... except a really annoying dude who sat with an elderly toy poodle in his lap and took issue with just about everything.

"There really ought to be a separate park for the BIG dogs... they're just so aggressive. It's not safe!"

Clearly.

Had he been better looking, I would have let it all slide, but I wasn't feelin' it.

Speaking of aggressive dogs, this chihuahua ran right up and bit Buddhamonster in the face.
Buddha shrugged; I couldn't stop laughing.

We later went to Central Park, which doubles as one giant dog park on the weekend.
At one point we turned around and this little thing was sitting on our blanket.

Katy picked him up and threw him.

"I can't have dog hair on my blanket! Not even ONE hair!"

She played gentler with this one, but I assume only because its three year old owner was observing. Didn't want to upset the kiddies...

Then we all went home.

2009-06-06T18:27:00.004-04:00

We like our new hood.

This is a Papillon puppy.
Buddha ate him.

We especially love Blockheads.
Even when it rains from above...

2009-05-23T12:53:00.004-04:00

We will miss The BK.

2009-05-19T12:24:00.004-04:00

Apologies for not having posted recently. To appease my fives of tens of readers, I will post some top secret pictures of our new apartment/mansion.

Yes, mansion. It is a "floor-through" and over 2400 square feet. This is the view from our balcony; can't wait for water balloon season!

Ctown marked out plans for his hot tub.

Katy K. felt the need to perform. When I asked if we could skip the second act and get to work, she picked up a hammer and threw it through a window.

After sitting through three interpretations of "Mambo No. 5" she decided we could begin painting.

The End.

2009-04-25T12:32:00.006-04:00

This is funny. And scary.

2009-04-20T11:45:00.007-04:00

Last week K and I traveled to New Orleans to build houses and save the world; I'm happy to announce that we accomplished both of these goals.

It certainly wasn't an easy task, nor would it have been possible without the help of Lorraine, our volunteer coordinator. In retrospect, we have to give her props because she did manage to get us to where we needed to be in a timely, organized fashion. Still, her hectic schedule left us feeling... unloved. We were left no choice but to give L's voicemail a piece of our mind.

"Lorraine, I think we need to renegotiate my day-rate."

"Lorraine! When you said I'd be working with studs this is NOT what I had in mind."

"Lorraine, I know I signed up to volunteer tomorrow as well, but I think we've shared a bit of a misunderstanding. At the site today there were... fat people. Did you NOT receive my headshot? It was full body. I'm not one of those neck-up skinny people!"

"Lorraine, what are your thoughts on Johnny-come-latelies?"

"When's our free lunch and singles mixer?"

Grievances aside, we still managed to have a swell time.

Here are some more pictures for your viewing pleasure.

Looking through the collage and slideshow, please take a moment in saluting George W. Bush's helicopter for its heroic and timely efforts in restoring the Greater New Orleans metropolitan area.

2009-04-13T08:25:00.004-04:00

Happy Easter!
Aren't our eggs pretty?

2009-04-09T20:11:00.003-04:00

I just want to say that I think this advertising mural is one of the best I have ever seen. Doesn't this biotch look like a photo?! Ah-may-zing.

Also, last weekend we hung out in Brooklyn.
I don't want to brag but I think we all had a nice time because I was there.

And when the weather is nice I have been taking Buddhamonster to his favorite park.

He looks so innocent!
You can hardly tell he just ate little Eitan.
Truly a wolf in pit bull clothing...

2009-03-29T20:37:00.006-04:00

On Saturday Katy K. decided it was about time we Met up. Puns are hilarious and she was eager to show me around the Buddhist section of the museum.

Honestly, I wouldn't have minded except for the fact that she spent most of the afternoon attempting to indoctrinate me.

"Rory, this is your new God."

"Actually... maybe this one is it? I'm not really sure. I hardly pay attention at temple."

"Oh! Wait. It's this one. Definitely. See? She wears a crown to represent she's better than you. Go with that."

Although I sort of liked this wall painting from ancient China, K said the faded colors and shotty craftsmanship didn't deserve our time.

She threw her cup of coffee at it on our way to the next exhibit.

I know it's cliche, but we love Van Gogh.

Love it.

Favorite.

After we were museum'd out we wandered around Central Park and enjoyed the glorious spring weather, picturesque views, and mediocre company.

We took a moment to take it all in.
Apparently Paul didn't realize you have to close your eyes to get the desired effect.

Like this.

2009-03-23T23:15:00.004-04:00

I just wanted to take this opportunity to wish everyone a happy spring!

Please enjoy the following poem that I authored to commemorate my favorite season.

Sweet the rain's new fall, sunlit from heaven
Like the first dewfall, on the first grass
Praise for the sweetness of the wet garden
Sprung in completeness where his feet pass

2009-03-16T10:12:00.005-04:00

These are just some random clips from the Britney concert.
I wish I had a better camera!

2009-03-12T10:19:00.006-04:00

I called up Lisa Joy last night and said, "Lily Pad, let's go check out this two-bit concert I've heard about."

"No, Rory! I don't like concerts and I don't like you!"

Please, I'm only teasing. Could you imagine?
She loves concerts, she loves me, and we both love...

Britney Jean Fucking Spears!!!

That's right, bitches.
We strolled up to the Nassau Coliseum, found our seats in the front row, and screamed for 90-odd minutes.

It was hard to take it all in.
I love her.

Costume changes afforded us a chance to breathe, drink, and remind ourselves how much we love Britney Jean. And yes, that's a homemade, heart shaped, Britney-bindi on my forehead.
It got non-stop compliments.

I felt the adrenaline runnin through my veins.

So close. To Britney Spears.

Complete chaos.

Womanizer encore. It got me goin.

She's oh so charmin.

Wait. Lisa, did you have a good time?

I can't tell.

Afterwards, backstage, we chose not to bother our princess with a picture. Don't be jeal.
We are her number one fans. Fo sho.

Instead we just got on the train, found a two-seater, and spooned in a Britney haze.

2009-03-03T22:32:00.009-05:00

On Sunday, Davey "Baker" Baker graced us with his culinary talents and taught us how to make Cake Balls. Don't be skeptical; these things are effing amazing.

Step 1: Bake a cake.

We chose strawberry for its strawberry-like flavor, pink color, and general all around deliciousness.

Step 2: Sample.
Make use of a fat person to examine for moisture, texture, color, flavor, etc.
Davey demonstrates. What a cow.

Step 3: Crumble.
Break and crumble the cake as you would a child's dreams.

Step 4: Frosting.
Add a frosting of your own choosing to the mix.
We chose strawberry because we're creative.

Step 5: Mix.
Mix the crumbled cake and frosting like the rent is due.
I'm just kidding, it need not be sexual.

Step 6: Chill.
After mixing the cake and frosting together, allow the ingredients to chill in the refrigerator for a little while.

Step 7: Roll.
Roll the chilled batter into little orbs with roughly the diameter of a quarter.
Lay on waxed paper.

Step 8: Assessment.
Take this time to organize your balls.
Do you have enough for all of your friends?
Do you have friends?

Step 9: Chocolate melt.
Melt a large amount of semi-sweet chocolate chips.
Stirring often, you may find the process difficult.
We found that using heat, such as a microwave, helps.

Step 10: Go for a dip.
Gently dip the cake balls into the melted chocolate.

Coat evenly and top with a single m&m.

Step 11: Cool down.
Pop those bad boys into the freezer for a couple minutes as you would a new kitten who forgot where the litter box was.

Step 12: Eat.
The hoodie is optional.

Step 13: Warsh.
Get Katy K. to come do your dishes.

2009-02-28T12:31:00.008-05:00

If you're bored, you may enjoy this mindless kitten video.
Just watch them be cute and suddenly the world is much less stressful for a minute and a half.

And then after the video is over, well, you know... I guess you can watch it again.

2009-02-26T23:43:00.006-05:00

In case anyone didn't know, I really love cats and dogs.

Seriously, I love them more than Dick Cheney loves evil.

Holding all of them at once made me feel a little like the Octomom! Well, minus the plastic surgery, constant desire to be on national tv, and complete disregard for social responsibility...

So effing cute.

There are five kittens in my lap.
You just can't see them because they like to sit on one another.
Nice.

This is my baby. I named her Boo but my brother decided that that was too clever, and deliciously adorable, of a name. He's instead decided she remain nameless.

"Shackleton" (not my decision) enjoys eating socks.

I enjoy eating him.

Seriously. So cute!
(And I guess the kitten's okay too. Zing!)

This one's gonna grow up to be a biter. I can see it now.

2009-02-15T17:30:00.004-05:00

These are paper valentines I made for people. By request, I have posted them here for your general amusement.

2009-02-08T22:21:00.003-05:00

2009-01-27T22:51:00.001-05:00

2009-01-11T12:27:00.003-05:00

Buddha's got the blues.

2009-01-05T22:18:00.002-05:00

I'm sorry, but this is funny.

2009-01-04T22:13:00.005-05:00

Happy 2009!

Katy K and I rang in the new year by holding fast to our resolutions. I vowed to stop spreading myself too thin with various charity commitments, while Katy resolved to not be arrested in '09.

Rice to Riches.

Brooklyn.

Cold puppy.
He was so cold he didn't even attack the pedestrians.

2008-12-29T19:00:00.007-05:00

I hope everyone had a fun holiday.
Mine was pet-tastic.

Don't worry, this was completely safe.

Killer pit-bull puppy.

Practicing for the circuit.

Goin up for States next year.

2008-12-14T15:13:00.000-05:00

On Friday we went to celebrate Corey's birthday by going to our favorite restaurant, Silk Road, without him.

We enjoyed the complimentary boxes of wine and orange wedges before heading downtown for some karaoke with the birthday boy.

And then on Saturday I invited my BFFs over to make Christmas cookies.
Unfortunately, they weren't available.
So Colby, Katy, Matt, Biz, and I made due.

Since baking is a bit of a science, everyone had a job in the kitchen!
Katy's role was to make sure we left key ingredients out of the dough.
Salt? Milk? Vanilla? Brown sugar? Optional.

Matt experimented with icing. We asked for red but he insisted on pink, of course...

Biz separated the jimmies for us. Damn rainbow packs!

Colby, who was surprised to learn we were making our own dough ("I thought you were gonna get one of the tubs...") decorated each cookie with an artistic flare.

Towards the end of the afternoon we had transformed into a well oiled machine. Dough-rolling, icing-making, cookie-decorating, name-calling, and jimmy-separating all seamlessly took place to produce dozens and dozens of cookies. Which I ate.

Hooray!

2008-12-08T22:32:00.000-05:00

Dear stalkers,

If you would like to watch The Bizzy Coy Show, starring me, please see below.

Love,
Rory

2008-12-03T18:01:00.000-05:00

It's really cold out!

2008-12-01T21:53:00.002-05:00

Here are some pictures of the dogs on my recent trip to Rochester.

Jack was almost eaten. We're happy to report the stitches are healing nicely.

Puppy love.

Also, here is a youtube clip combining random video files I had on my computer. Please enjoy the lack of editing and abrupt cut points.

2008-11-26T11:05:00.000-05:00

Last weekend we went to go see Marissa and friends sing in Bryant Park.

2008-11-23T11:14:00.001-05:00

On Saturday I attended a play date/pitbull deathmatch down the street.

Erin brought Hennessy and a warm smile. I brought Buddha and a first aid kit.

Unfortunately, even though we kept prodding them with a baseball bat, the two refused to kill each other.

See?

So I dangled some toddler I snatched from the playground over their heads.
It was a win-win situation. No one's gonna miss that baby, and it really upped the stakes so we all got the show we were waiting for. Finally.

2008-11-10T00:22:00.000-05:00

Sunday is a good day for making friends,

doing laundry,

meeting future victims,

feigning friendliness,

and going to Chili's!!

2008-11-05T00:09:00.000-05:00

2008-11-04T20:31:00.000-05:00

It was with great joy last week that we could all celebrate the return of Star Anne.

A lot has changed for Star. She was eager to regale us with stories of Silvio, his plan to "make a real woman" out of her, and a sparkling engagement ring (she suspects was from Forever 21).

We had some fun at the BMP Halloween Happy Hour.

Afterwards we wandered around the city and met up with Davey, whose costume was frighteningly impressive.

Everyone wanted a picture of Davey! He was truly a celebrity for the evening. I suspect he even developed a 24 hour substance abuse problem.

A few people wanted a picture with me too.

Including Davey.

Look at this cute family.

Fan Meet and Greet.

Then we headed over to Brooklyn.

She better watch that Silvio doesn't get ahold of these pictures...

2008-10-30T23:26:00.000-04:00

This past week Matt and I went to San Francisco to have some fun.

Oh well, maybe next time, right?

I kid, I kid! We had a "great time" seeing the sights, wandering around, riding buses, making friends, fightin terror lovin terrorists, and eating a lot of food.

The weather there is volatile! One minute it'd be hot and sunny and only seconds later I'd be shivering in the icy fog. Hey, it's sort of like describing John McCain's temper... ZING!

We spent the latter half of our trip in The Mission neighborhood. Apparently this was the ghetto of San Francisco but I actually sort of enjoyed it. It certainly had more charm than the rougher areas of New York. Also, the crazies were far more entertaining.

This is Fisherman's Wharf where Matt went swimming with the Sea Lions. I tried to stop him.

Like I said, it was entirely sunny just minutes earlier...

Cool fog.

For a more complete narrative of the adventure please enjoy the slideshow.

2008-10-21T21:16:00.000-04:00

On Friday I went to go see Marissa sing.

Hosted by Liza Minelli, the event featured several artists hoping to pursue a singing career. Liza was eager to point out that the venue was only 75 yards from Broadway, and that several past performers had gone on to great unnamed things. I got the feeling she was hinting that there may have been an agent or two in the crowd...

Marissa was by far the best singer.

2008-10-20T00:11:00.000-04:00

2008-10-18T17:00:00.001-04:00

October 16, 2006

October 18, 2006

October 16, 2008

Happy Birthday, Buddha!

2008-10-16T13:00:00.000-04:00

On Wednesday I donned my public health hat and joined a couple co-workers and the Planned Parenthood of New York City Action Fund on their trip to Hofstra University. Their goal was to picket outside of the presidential debate and solicit mainstream news coverage. Mine was to obtain a free American Apparel t-shirt.

On the way there, we were asked to come up with creative chants, cheers, songs, and slogans to rally our cause.

My offering of "Hey, hey! Ho, ho! Roe v. Wade has got to go!" wasn't paritularly well received...

The rally was largely uneventful. There were lots of people but no real craziness.

Our group of a hundred or so people in pink-o commie t-shirts was joined by the New York City Green Party.

This man also joined our group, but honestly, I wasn't really feeling him... you can tell he didn't put any effort into his poster.

2008-10-05T22:31:00.000-04:00

On Saturday I walked around some park, but I forget its name. I don't think many people know about it.

While walking around the park we ran into a bat who had apparently fallen out of a tree. Being a form of concentrated evil, I poked it with a stick. Kidding! Just kidding. I left the scene as some concerned NPR-types were calling a friend "who knows everything."

This picture makes me want to rest in a hammock and listen to Cat Stevens.

On Sunday we went to Fishkill, NY to have some fun picking apples.

Earlier in the city the overcast skies and light rain had us fearing the worst. But when we arrived at our destination it was nothing but a picturesque autumn day. I guess Buddha's most recent victim did count as a sacrifice to the weather gods!

Nature is beautiful.

Our little farmer.

"Let's all chew some hay."

"I love apples."

A nice lady offered to give us the apple-pole she was no longer using.
It was like Christmas... until a very forward, none-too-amused apple picker accosted our little group, "Excuse me, are you done with that?"

We saw a lot of animals.

Hooray for apple pickers.

2008-09-30T20:45:00.001-04:00

Buddha does not appreciate the rain.

2008-09-19T09:16:00.001-04:00

I was walking through Grand Central Terminal and look who I saw.
Talk about photo-journalism! I smell a Pulitzer...

2008-09-14T22:10:00.001-04:00

This weekend we went to Rehoboth Beach to celebrate Sarah Jane and Justin's long anticipated destination wedding.

The beautiful bride.

We couldn't resist taking silly pictures on the beach.

This is the cake I made for the bride and groom. It was my gift to them.

Katy K. had three too many glasses of wine in the first ten minutes of the reception. She really wanted a picture with SJ.

My date for the evening... among other things, we discussed that it's not nice to push people on the playground, that Spiderman is hard to find, and that Sarah Jane and Justin are nice people because they don't push.

Me and Katy K.

For a more comprehensive set of pictures, here is a slideshow for your amusement.

2008-09-07T23:43:00.001-04:00

"Drop it..." doesn't always work.

Impromptu dog-date.

2008-09-03T19:14:00.001-04:00

View from the Manhattan Bridge.

And hooray for fun weekends!

2008-08-23T10:12:00.000-04:00

A few days ago Katy K. asked if I wanted to go to Costa Rica. Given that I had hardly anything else to do, I agreed. On a whim we decided to buy our tickets on Craigslist from some nice man, SooperDeal4u7298. The tickets were in steerage aboard a cargo ship but seeing as it was so last minute we figured Expedia wouldn’t fair much better.

“Why bother even looking?”
“You have a good point.”

In the end, it worked out fine! We had a ball!

Some of the highlights of the trip included:

being woken up at 4 am from Katy jumping on me and screaming "Rory! RORY!!! There's a bat in our room and it just crawled up my leg!!!",
hiking to a remote waterfall in the rain,
making friends with other guests at hostels,
being around Katy as she talked about our new hostel friends within earshot of them,
driving around with our GPS Navigator, "Homegirl,"
listening to Mamma Mia in the car
being arrested, and
playing with monkeys on the beach.

2008-08-09T16:20:00.000-04:00

Buddher.

2008-08-03T22:16:00.000-04:00

On Friday I went to a bbq in Marine Park. Fun times!

Even more fun was the fact that Pat and Tom had picked out a dog that very afternoon.

What a cute puppy! She even loved Emily- the hater of all things cute and innocent.

Colby liiiiked her.

Then on Saturday we had made plans to visit Six Flags, Great Adventure.

Katy K., whose car we would be relying on to get to said location, was unable to join us as she had some friends in town. Crestfallen by this news I offered, "Awww, that's too bad!... Can we take your car?"

She said, "Of course! But don't you dare use my EZ Pass. If I find out you used my EZ Pass I will never speak to you again. You hear?"

I hope she doesn't mind that we used it.

Anyway, we got to the park and HAD to go on Kingda Ka.

Bizzy was a complete baby and couldn't stop crying. "Oh it's so fast! You guys! Am I going to die? Guys, I don't want to die! Guys, I get really freaked out by this stuff. Guys, once I'm on the ride I'm fine, but I just get really anxious in line. I won't die, right?"

After she sipped her bottle we posed for a group picture.

Unfortunately, right as we were the very next group in line, an announcement informed us that the ride was being shut down due to "minor technical difficulties."

This is me sad because the ride was broken.

But no worries! It was fixed and we got to go on! Bizzy didn't die.

Colby, our little deal-finder, suggested we purchase the Six Flags souvenir cup. Aside from getting to keep a really cool plastic cup, it also entitled us to free refills all day long.

"Colby, can I have some more sodey?"

More roller coasters.

Practicing our enjoyment pose.

We never had to worry about our group being separated. He sticks out in a crowd.

Six Flags offers a test seat at the entrance of each roller coaster so that patrons may determine for themselves if they are too fat to ride the ride. I was worried.

It was great fun to watch the dolphins, as it truly was just an amazing show. The intricate story line, the nuanced character development, the suspense, the drama- we laughed, we cried, I couldn't get enough.

"Six Flags Forever!!!"

On our way home we had to stop at our most favorite restaurant. What a great way to end the day!

2008-07-27T20:19:00.000-04:00

Does Katy K. normally wear this outfit? Perhaps on occasion.
But last night she wore it specifically for our 80s workout party!

Biz and I had to warm up before all the guests arrived! Is it wrong that I'm thinking of dressing like this to go running tomorrow?

And then of course we asked everyone to do their favorite workout pose. Notice Colby's. I think it's my favorite.

Haven't you ever heard of the cheeseburger and beer diet? It's all the rage!

Katy K. and Cristina.

And sweet Emily, called me up last week to ask if she could come over early to help set up for the party. Surprised by this desire to arrive before midnight, she was a bit offended when I suggested to maybe come by at 9. ("The party starts at 9:30!! What? You don't want to spend time with me??")

I reassured her that she was welcome to come over whenever she wanted. "Shockingly," she arrived promptly at 11:30.

Good times!

It didn't take long to start tearing up the dance floor.

"I love Marissa!!!"

Everyone loves Buddha!

I. Love. Kristen.

Also, I saw Mamma Mia! on Friday and thought it might be a fun addition to the party's playlist. Apparently the crowd took well to it.

2008-07-25T11:48:00.000-04:00

T-boz showed up at Grand Central for lunch with me on Tuesday. I didn't have my camera handy so we had to settle for a camera-phone. The paparrazi are never around when you need them...

2008-07-21T22:38:00.000-04:00

This past weekend featured a visit from out of towners.

We had a swell time.

Each morning we hit the ground running.

The heat couldn't keep us down.

So we spent a lot of time in air conditioned museums. Isn't he creepy?

On Thursday we were invited to a BBQ in Queens. We gave Clare the task of carrying a case of beer to the roof. Unfortunately she wasted no time in dropping the case and spilling/breaking two bottles of Corona. Thanks, Clare!! (How embarrassing...)

And don't worry, she isn't offering an expletive. It was almost an hour later when she realized the tip of her finger was cut and had gotten blood all over her khaki shorts. Yet another party foul...

We all managed to forgive and forget. (Or at least put on a happy face)

On Friday we went to the Met.

I'm not sure if this is just his way of appreciating fine art, or if the concept of a priceless masterpiece is simply lost on him.

We explored the roof garden.

Notice the funny faces.

Group photo.

Then we took the Staten Island Ferry.

To cap it all off, we asked someone to take our picture... and then we pushed him overboard.

2008-07-14T23:07:00.001-04:00

On Friday we all headed over to Blockheads for one of our crazy evenings.

It all began smoothly enough, but Katy K., in her typical pacifist ways, couldn't get enough of the $3 margaritas. After her tenth helping, she told the waitress to "stuff it."

I kid, I kid. She only had two Coronas. (But she did break one of the bottles over someone's head...)

Lisa is my darling pal. I can't get enough of her Virginia twang.

And after a couple margaritas, I apparently can't get enough of her doll-sized jacket either.

Then we headed over to our favorite bar to have some fun.

C-town and I played a great game where he would ask me to hold his keys. After enthusiastically agreeing to the task, I would throw them across the room.

These two were having a lot of fun.

Perhaps a little too much fun?

Are you having deja vu?

Group shot! Aren't we adorable?

Later in the evening I went upstairs and ran into these two. I love unplanned high school reunions! We took some "prom photos," but sadly, the photographer, who shall remain nameless, wasn't up to the task and the pictures didn't really turn out well.

Colby was really excited to have his picture taken

2008-07-12T16:16:00.000-04:00

Fun times in Woodstock, NY!

Here is a picturesque scene we stumbled upon while driving around the countryside.
Other fun activities on these largely abandoned roads included being asked to "check the pressure in the rear tire" of the car only to have it speed away, exploring abandoned properties, and discovering a house on a hill which I can only describe as reminiscent of a Lifetime made-for-tv movie about Ruby Ridge.

Being a guest in the house I didn't feel it was necessary to "pitch in."

Hanging around.

This was a demonstration at the center of town. I threw a couple tomatoes, screamed "pink-o commie!" and called the Dept. of Homeland Security. She had it coming.

Nature is pretty.

And here is a video of Buddha's first ever attempt at swimming. He's very confused by water. Please note the obnoxious pitch of my voice. I have vowed to stop speaking in baby talk to my dog.

2008-07-03T18:17:00.000-04:00

Rochester was fun!

Here are some more robin eggs. Apparently Rochester has an abundance of them.

This is a cool bug I found walking around. Cool stuff.

And of course my Sophie.

Buddha enjoyed the open space.

Gloria's wedding was awesome!!

I celebrated Gloria and Mike's love for one another at the open bar.

Beth couldn't decide if she loved me or Jason more.

Our favorite bride and groom. They are simply good people!

I have to admit that there are probably four dozen versions of this photograph floating around as it was completely staged by the photographer. But it is nevertheless beautiful.

2008-06-28T17:30:00.001-04:00

Pictures from Brooklyn

2008-06-24T00:05:00.000-04:00

It certainly has been a while. The following are a collection of random pictures from the past several weeks.

Here is a picture of me waiting for the J, demonstrating my ability to hold up a sweater without hands. Genius.

This would have been even cooler if I had been able to take the photograph from the pedestrian walkway on the Manhattan Bridge. But sadly, I had to take it from the inside of the subway car so it's a little blurry.

Buddha has become obsessed with playing fetch in recent weeks. I've discovered a couple nice fenced-in parks down on Wythe. Sadly, the locals still haven't forgiven him for eating that unattended child last Thursday. They always leave in a huff when we arrive.

My parents would like to offer the following nature shots. Not too shabby...

Voicemail update: "The birds are dead."

And last weekend we went to the Mermaid Parade.

We were all responsible, and only drank amber tinted Sprite.

Or "green tea with ginseng."

Colby and Lisa posed with Neptune... or something like that.

Beach!!

Aren't we adorable?

Then on Sunday Colby and I went to a big group brunch. It was an additional $5 for the "All You Can Drink" option, so we had a contest to see who could drink the most in the allotted 90 minutes.

I think I won, but to be fair, it's because I was somehow served two drinks. Thus, the waitress was refilling both my mimosa and my strawberry margarita throughout the meal.

And then walking around one day Danny accidentally stabbed himself. It happens.

2008-06-09T21:11:00.001-04:00

Ever since I met Sarah Jane she has made one thing perfectly clear: she really, really likes The Cheesecake Factory. In fact I believe one of the first conversations I ever had with her involved listing some favorite menu items (cobb salad, avocado egg rolls, spinach dip, and chocolate cheesecake in case you were wondering). Given that our little SJ will soon be leaving Brooklyn for the big city of Cleveland, we felt we had to send her off in suburban style.

Several ideas were brainstormed which involved surprising our guest of honor with a trip to New Jersey.

1) Katy K. could tell her she was planning a trip to Ikea, and needed SJ and the rest of us to come along for decorating advice. Then, as the car mysteriously arrived at The Cheesecake Factory parking lot we'd all yell, "SURPRISE!!!", or
2 ) We would all show up at the apartment unannounced. We'd blindfold Sarah Jane, throw her in the trunk of the car (just to heighten the drama), arrive at the restaurant, put our names down with the hostess, wait to be seated, and then, once comfortable and drinks ordered, go get her out of the trunk and yell, "SURPRISE!!!", or
3) We also discussed going to The Cheesecake Factory in her honor, but the surprise would be that it was in her absence.

In the end, we arrived at Katy K's on that blisteringly hot Saturday afternoon as planned. I called her cell phone to let her know we were in the vicinity and was awaiting further instructions. Her response was as follows,

"Ok! So... I think you guys should just come over. [What does she know?] Well, I told her not to make plans for tonight, and she knows you guys are coming over, and that we're going somewhere in the car, and well... I didn't really know how to plan this! You guys never told me what to do! I wrote you that email and then no one ever wrote ba- okay, well you all did, but still! I'm not good at this stuff!"

After a few quick chuckles to ourselves Biz and I decided to take charge- we'd just pretend we were all going to Ikea. "I've been browsing the catalogue all day!" offered Biz upon arrival just for good measure. We kept the chit chat brief, and made our way to the car.

However, before getting in, Katy K. had some announcements. "Oh, my air conditioning is broken. I need to get that fixed." I started laughing hysterically because I'm always amused when really kind, sincere souls try to play a joke on me. But unfortunately she wasn't kidding. It was really hot.

"Oh, and guys, we're going to pick up Mary on the way... Yea, I realized after I invited her that there's not enough room in the car for all of us, but I think we can squish!"

Sarah Jane took one look at the Ford Focus's tiny backseat and said, "Katy, I don't think you'll be able to fit Mary and three other people back there..."
"Well I don't know what to tell you Sarah Jane!!!" Hahahahah

Still, as is always the case, we managed to have a fantastic time!

This is a picture of Sarah Jane eating a Luna bar (since she didn't know we were going out to dinner).

This was our back seat. Good times!!

We made it!!! Aren't we adorable?

Cheers to Sarah Jane.

Chocolate cheesecake.

And because I was having some fun with iMovie, everyone can watch my little tribute to SJ!

2008-06-04T21:48:00.000-04:00

I just want to let everyone know that my mild infatuation with Rosie O'Donnell compels me to read her blog on a daily basis. Last week she held a contest asking readers to submit pictures of animals/wildlife.

Unfortunately my submission was sort of grainy but I guess she liked it anyway because yesterday I got an email from Rosie herself congratulating me and saying she loved the picture.

http://www.rosie.com/photos/urphotos/photos.aspx?Id=2046

2008-05-26T21:30:00.000-04:00

On Sunday we went to McCarren Park to celebrate the perfect weather. We all had some fun hanging out, studying the hipsters, and eating ice cream.

What a babe!!

Buddha was lovin' it... but that's probably because I had just told him he could eat one small child in the area.

She was compelled to strike a pose on the Sycamore-lined street.

An inspiring mantra.

And then on Monday I wandered around Greenwood Cemetery with Danny.

It was quite an impressive arboretum.

2008-05-23T17:51:00.000-04:00

Today I got out of work early and went to the Bronx Zoo with Miss Howard's awesome kindergarten class!

The tiger exhibit provided interesting contraptions that allowed visitors to sniff the various scents relevant to tigers: food, musk, etc. Rather than partake, I was amused by Miss Howard's directives, "This says you can sniff each- NO, do NOT lick that!"

Miss Howard was an excellent leader and easily navigated the zoo's complicated layout.

Chillin with the polar bears. (hahahahahahahha)

Tony and Angelica were my fast friends.

Fun trip!!

2008-05-18T16:12:00.000-04:00

On Saturday we took a stroll around the East Village.

The comfortable weather, bright sun, and moderate exercise proved too much for Katy K. and her heat retaining wardrobe. Fortunately we came across the friendly staff at a "Dance University" booth giving away t-shirts. They bargained that if Katy agreed to a 30 second dance she could have any t-shirt she wanted. A true ballerina, she agreed.

In her new threads.

Other dancers.

We needed a picture. Aren't we just adorable?

On our way home Biz was overcome by the sunshine, gentle breeze, and sweeping panoramic backdrops. A fan of America's Next Top Model, she couldn't help but strike a pose.

2008-05-11T12:37:00.000-04:00

On Saturday we visited the Brooklyn Botanic Gardens.

Cherry blossom petals make for fun pictures.

We love lilacs.

Pretty tree.

Group photo!

My nose looks crooked. I'll keep you posted on my reconstructive surgery.

2008-05-05T11:41:00.000-04:00

Fun in Williamsburg.

I felt like Kelly Osbourne.

2008-04-29T19:41:00.000-04:00

Happy Spring

2008-04-20T22:54:00.000-04:00

On a rooftop in Brooklyn.

2008-04-18T17:03:00.000-04:00

Isn't it fun when 6 pm after-work cocktails turn into 2 am dancing?

Our evening began at Blockheads. Little Lisa went up to the host to ask "How much longer?" After looking her up an down he replied, "20 minutes... maybe less."

Their relationship was strained however when our party of 6 turned into a party of 13.

Matt loves $3 margaritas, khaki spring jackets, striped polos, and womens sunglasses.

Colby liiiiiikes it.

Lisa is my icon. It was fun when we each went up to the DJ at Therapy to separately request Gimme More. She returned to report, "That DJ is bitchy, yall!"

We settled for Break the Ice, but the management has another thing coming if they think I will ever forget this!

This was me indicating I didn't need another margarita, and that I was ready to go to The Ritz.

Given the context of our surroundings, we ended the night by dancing to the classics: Britney, Christina, and Beyonce. Always the overachiever, Emily took it a step further by outing a classmate she recognized from school. All in a days work.

2008-04-11T07:58:00.000-04:00

On Friday I met up with some friends from school. We're like Charlie's Angels (public health edition)!

On Saturday we celebrated the unofficial first day of spring by walking around Chelsea. Biz was surprised by the fact that it wasn't raining.

Beautiful New Jersey.

At first glance it may seem like Sarah Jane is squinting from the sun, but actually, it's more like being blinded by the bright, bright light of the star photographer.

Here is a wolf that some woman insisted was her pet dog. "A very rare breed!" she declared.

And for whatever reason, I found it entertaining to resemble the unabomber.

2008-03-27T20:01:00.001-04:00

On Wednesday we explored Roosevelt Island.

2008-03-25T22:14:00.001-04:00

Kristen gave up tortilla chips for lent. The 40 days of suffering were set to cease in a grand finale of corn chip intoxication on Easter Sunday.

All weekend emails, phone calls, and text messages were exchanged to meet at our favorite, little-known, under the radar, local haunt- Chipotle.

Unfortunately, we soon discovered that the staff was too busy celebrating the resurrection of the Lord to serve us burritos!

So we went to Qdoba instead.

Happy Easter!

Good times.

2008-03-22T11:33:00.000-04:00

Happy belated St. Patrick's Day!

I like his hat.

Traditional dinner.

Puppy!!!!

Britney!!!!

2008-03-17T12:21:00.000-04:00

A smile to your day.

Choreography by Danny Volpe

2008-03-13T00:17:00.000-04:00

She's baaaack.

2008-03-10T21:29:00.000-04:00

Per court order, we took Buddha to the vet for his yearly check up/behavioral assessment. What a healthy puppy, Dr. L described him as "perfect." And then Buddha mauled him.

Special thanks to Katy K. Howard for driving us so we didn't have to walk in the rain!!!!

And then Sunday we walked around and took silly pictures of Williamsburg.

Trapped.

Sycamore.

Here is the lovely NY State run park on Kent Ave. which kindly does not allow dogs to enter its perimter in any way, shape, or form. We had to leave Buddha home. Thanks, East River Park! (Leave it to Brooklyn to have all of one water-front park and then not allow dogs.)

It is pretty though.

Kelp.

2008-03-03T23:13:00.000-05:00

Craving the opportunity to host a party, Biz and I threw a bash. Guests were invited to the "Williamsburg Middle School Cafetorium"/Apt. 1D for our first ever Middle School Dance.

Dressing in their 90's best, a thousand people showed up to dance the Macarena, sing along to the Spice Girls, exchange scrunchies, and generally just relive the glory days.

We served brownies in saran wrap, peanut butter and jelly triangles, and various other after school snack staples. Of course we also served punch... which Bizzy spiked.

Jaime was my unofficial date for the event, and given the circumstances, spread a story that she kissed me in the boiler room.

Here she's demonstrating how much she likes my cologne.

More people wanted in.

Look at these hot girls!

Katy K. Howard.

Maintaining awkward distance. It is interesting to note that Matt is not only wearing "his Dad's tie", but also "his cologne!"

Mike and I.

The cool kids!!

Good times!

And here is a fun video containing clips from the night:

2008-02-25T20:49:00.000-05:00

Dancing with Kristen.

Off the cuff interpretation of Britney's VMA performance.

Then, Kristen and Biz worked on making a music video. Please note it's still the very early stages of rehearsal.

Someone loves Buddha!!

On Sunday Biz and I dressed to impress the paparazzi as we attended the Oscars in Sunset Park. Biz was going for a Floridian Bridge Club look, where as I tried to appear ambiguously pensive in every picture. I don't think it went so well- I'll never be a teen model!!!

2008-02-25T20:40:00.000-05:00

It's been too cold to take interesting pictures outside, so I've been trying to find things to photograph indoors.

2008-02-18T18:59:00.001-05:00

Buddha looks forward to spring!

Cheers to a fun, 3-day weekend!

Activities were varied but did at one point involve the happiest place on Earth.

Drink responsibly.

2008-02-12T22:29:00.001-05:00

We love Spring Street Natural.

Biz makes friends.

2008-02-04T21:56:00.000-05:00

This weekend I ventured out with a group of friends to Murray Hill.
Liz and I were excited after running into Ricky Martin at Johnny Utah's!

The beer flowed like wine.

And on Sunday I ventured out to Bay Ridge where we celebrated Superbowl XLII by playing Guitar Hero.

Not to be outdone by Eli Manning, I was keen to demonstrate my own athletic talents. The camera cuts out right before they poured the cooler of Gatorade on me. Guess you had to be there.

Also, I'd like to thank Mike for the thoughtfully selected SpongeBob SquarePants figurine to put on my desk at work. It expertly matches the colorful motifs of the office! Please note that this is not a black and white picture.