Rory and the City

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

My trip west continued with a layover in Oprahville. Unfortunately, if you can believe it, the old broad was busy and had forgotten all about our get-together! Oh well. There were plenty of Taco Bells where the food was cheap and the smiles were free. I hardly missed O.

My cousin and I settled on taking a boat tour chronicling the rich architectural history of the Chicago River. Frank, our tour guide, was big on trivia. A professor at a local university, he seemed to know pretty much everything there was to know about the venue. He also didn't give a chance for Kathy, his co-tour-guide (seen sitting by her lonesome on the bench), to speak much.

There was a lot to see.

The tour was even more entertaining for someone who had seen it five times. Sorry! She was a good sport though.

Later, I requested we go see "The Cloud" as my mom had told me it was called. Not knowing any better I trusted her misguided information and painted myself a fool when I asked to see it! My cousin shot me a dirty look, told me to read a tour book, and said she'd gladly take me to THE BEAN. Color me embarrassed! I hadn't felt that silly since I mistakenly told Mel Gibson I loved him in American Pycho.

Awwww. Obligatory photo opp.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Dear concerned readers,

Thank you for the thousands of emails begging me to continue chronicling my often thrilling, never exaggerated, experiences of living life in the fast lane.

This chapter of my life would probably be entitled "Rory Drives Across the Country. Just like Frodo Baggins."

My adventure began by packing up the car late last night. Capitalizing on my unique aptitude for spacial relations, I'd say I did a pretty good job. It wasn't until this morning that I realized I wouldn't have much room for Buddha.

I kid, I kid. I was amazed by the number of people who asked me if I was taking my dog with me to California. Did they think I would ever leave him behind?! He is the love of my life!

I gave him three Ambien I found in a drawer and he was out cold

A little pre-trip picture to remember myself by. Great hair day.

The drugs wore off around the Village of Pittsford.

I made it to Pennsylvania!

Then to Ohio!

I actually stopped at the Ohio Welcome Center. The schnazzy little rest stop had hundreds of brochures, maps, and directories for tourists to peruse. I can't wait to discover Ohio! Sorry, no postcards. I asked.

Later, I asked Buddha to take over driving for a bit. I was feeling a little tired, but he wasn't much of a help. He actually slept like this for over an hour.

Let's get a close-up of that! Amazeballs.

It was even more amazing when he woke up out of a little dream with a startle. I wondered why the car, which was employing cruise control, began to slow down to 50 mph on the highway. His head popped the car into neutral! The Toyota Corolla who was tailin me and I shared a chuckle... or something like that.

After a while, since he was a good boy and didn't eat anyone at any of my numerous restroom stop breaks, I brought him to an empty field to play fetch. He had a swell time.

Later, I was out gettin a look at the moon, listening to Rosie Radio, and I noticed two people coming out of their room. Hugging and kissing, I envisioned the middle aged couple out on a cross country, romantic journey of their own. Awwwww.

Then they got in their separate cars and drove away.

When I got back to the car and noticed these little buggers all over the hood. Sort of pretty, no?

Monday, March 29, 2010

Dear Readers,

Happy spring!

A few weekends ago Gertrude opted to celebrate her birthday by inviting/requesting/dragging Davey and I to the New York Botanical Gardens.

All kidding aside, we had a great time! Much like the park's other patrons, here's a frog who saw us and hid.

Later, Biz took a moment to gently reach for Davey's hand. It didn't go over so well.

He knocked her face first into the ground, but fortunately she hit a nice mossy patch.

Later I climbed way up into the trees and asked the groundlings to take my picture. Can you see me?

"Take a picture of me. It's my birthday."

"Take a picture of me. It's my sign."

Monday, February 22, 2010

On Saturday Katy K. wanted to celebrate her return from Mardis Gras in The Big Easy. Sadly, the loose morals, endless booze, and flamboyant costumes were simply too much. She trashed her beads, packed her bags, and hopped the next flight back to The Big Apple.

"Rory, I had to get outta there. Divine retribution will strike again!"

We walked around Central Park to wash away her sins.

This is that cool fountain we always go to.

And this is that cool underpass where Kevin outran the Sticky Bandits.

We saw this guy playing a cello in the bitter cold. I thought about maybe giving him a dollar but didn't want to encourage artistic expression. Ever.

Smile for the camera!

After a quick photo I accidentally dropped Buddha's leash and Gary, John Lennon's keeper, didn't understand the seriousness of the situation. I said, "Gary, this is a big, big deal! IMAGINE what would have happened if a small child were here? There'd be blood on our hands."

Tuesday, February 02, 2010

Here are some pictures from my recent trip to the set of Full House.

So pretty.